Brooke Gladstone’s “The Civil (Book) War” from Radio Sweethearts on Vimeo.

I just downloaded the audio, and threw some photos from Google into iMovie for the “Ken Burns Effect.” There you go. Thank me later.

This week’s On the Media recap was more facilitated than written by Matthew without the express consent or prior knowledge of Kerry.

"Truck Vs Macbook Pro" by Jase n tonic

In the middle of an otherwise sane conversation about computer programs that construct news stories as search engine fodder, Bob – unprovoked – begins shouting nonsense.

This is the second time that I’ve ever pulled a clip out of a radio show for discussion here. I hope it’s the last time I need to do this with Bob:

“Take that, Computers! Only humans can write poetry!”

I want you to notice some things about this outburst:

1. Notice the slurred voice. Not so much in, “Take that, Computers!” but in “Only humans can write poetry!” Either Bob’s coffee is in need of a sniff-test, 0r he found an old Quaalude stash. Or his mind is slipping.

2. Notice that the interviewee, like a good radio guest, repeats what he was saying before he was interrupted – which means the crazy could have been edited out.

3. The crazy could have been edited out, and “On the Media,” as we have teased them before, is edited… by Brooke. Brooke left that in there for a reason.

Kerry and I conferred on the possible motivations for such actions: maybe there’s a bet as to who can sell the most books. Maybe Bob is really just going that crazy from having his love for Brooke go unrequited for so long.

Or maybe – and this is my preferred theory – Bob has just discovered that the government-issued rations, provided by the Soylent Corporation, are actually processed from the bodies of humans who have either become to aged to contribute to a starved society or who just have t0o difficult a time living so far below the poverty line. But now that he knows, he must, at all costs, risk his job with the police force to let the world know that it’s people! Soylent Green is people! You must tell them, oh the humanity!

That, or Brooke just wanted her intelligent, well thought out piece on Nabokov’s unfinished novel to sound even more reasoned and insightful than it would have otherwise. Which, holy crap, would sound reasoned and insightful anyway – she insists that a literary critic justify the fact that he considers Kafka to be an exception to an arbitrary rule.

By the way, I’ve always pronounced “Nabokov” “Nab-0-KAV,” whereas Brooke pronounces it “Na-BOK-off.” Who’s right? And who, other than the Nabokov family decides that?

This “On the Media” Highlights post was written by Matthew, for once in the presence of Kerry, who, while hearing Matthew edit the clip above, just sighed, “Thank God there’s an us, protecting public radio from itself.”

It happens. I’ve been feeling way under the weather, Kerry’s been out of town, I fell asleep at the table around 10 p.m. Sunday. Excuses, Excuses.

It makes me wonder what would happen if behavioral advertising could see my real life. Would they sell me Ambien or No-Doz? Or would all of the ads I see be for media provided free of charge, with the request to donate if I’m getting value out of it?

Which leaves me to interrupt my own post to let you know that our local public radio station, WKNO, has just started their fall pledge drive. You’ve heard the stuff about value, less than a cup of coffee, thank you gifts, all that.

If you’re anything like me, you’re deaf to that drivel. You donate to public radio because you’ve been listening for years, because the guilt is crushing, and because you want people like Bob Garfield and Brooke Gladstone (and Justin Willingham) to eat.

Also because they keep interrupting my favorite programs. And they’ll end the drive when they reach their goal. And I want my “Morning Edition” back. Go to WKNO, donate. Or find your own local NPR affiliate, and toss them a few bucks.

Anyway. Behavioral advertising. Bob does a story on a study conducted by UPenn Professor Joseph Turow, and he totally geeks out about “Nightmare Scenarios” – which Turow defines as “the digitization of all media and their interconnection.” That actually sound really cool to me. I love the iTunes genius feature – though not as much as making my own mix tapes – because of how it draws unexpected connections between songs.

Much as I did just there, Bob veers a little off topic – rather than keep the conversation on behavioral targeting (which doesn’t work quite like Bob says anyway) and why it skeeves people out – the story tends to drone on into one of Bob’s favorite topics – wondering aloud why people surrender their privacy.

Brooke, too, falters a little bit (to my ears) when talking about one of her favorite topics. We know her to be a little bit of a geek. She’s professed to us to be WNYC’s resident Star Trek expert, and she likes Dungeons and Dragons. We have to assume she was absolutely beside herself when interviewing Dmitri Williams about how the Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, “Everquest II,” works to provide better social research than available just about anywhere.

It’s interesting, I guess, but I have very little invested in it. I barely even find it to be curious that people behave like they normally behave while playing role playing games, especially when dealing with economic decisions.

It’s clear here that Brooke is feeling no small amount of glee just talking about “Everquest,” and it’s quite fetching, but I just can’t relate in this case.

Today’s OTM highlights post was written by Matthew with no input from Kerry, who like to walk up to me while I’m trying to write, and breathlessly whisper with a vaguely British accent: “From all corners of the world heroes are being called to join the quest that will decide the fate of Norrath.”

This, friends, results in utter drivel. So I’ve deleted everything I had, and I’m trying again.

Which, ultimately, is refreshing.

As is the episode’s first story, “Newspapers Go to Washington,” in which present and future models of monetizing the newspaper industry are discussed –  while avoiding the “Present and Future Models for Monetizing the Newspaper Industry” jingle.

Until the end.

I like to think that there’s a bit of resignation in Brooke’s voice when she apologizes to the interviewee, saying “You know, there’s something that I forgot to do when we have conversations like this.”

I really expected to come out of a discussion of whether the newspaper industry deserves/needs/wants a government bailout with something more of note to say, but frankly, I’m tired of bailouts. There are not many industries that I want to stay afloat badly enough that I want to pay their way out of a hole – without doing so by buying their products.

And that jingle is just bad.

Almost as bad as the fact that the whole AT&T/Apple/Google Voice controversy never occurred to me as a net neutrality issue until Brooke explicitly stated it as such.

Nor had it occurred to me until Brooke mentioned it that ISPs like AT&T or Comcast don’t like net neutrality, because they insist that they can’t afford to bring more bandwidth to the customers unless they charge the online services (which are why customers use ISPs anyway) out of existence.

That’s a bit of hyperbole there, and that had occurred to me, actually, except for the bit in there about bringing more bandwidth. I just thought that the DSL I use today doesn’t seem any faster than the DSL I had seven years ago because Comcast was inept – not because they’re greedy and inept.

Today’s On the Media recap was issued forth by the hands of Matthew. It was edited by Kerry, if by “edited,” you mean “asked about while her attention was really devoted to ’30 Rock’ and knitting.”

Which, you might think, would result in a recap made from a collection of our commentary on how Bob Garfield doesn’t get it, and how Brooke Gladstone does.

That wouldn’t be wrong, if I could be bothered to dig up our old commentary.

The episode provides a nice stopgap while Brooke is still on book leave and Bob, presumably, works on something big for next week. (Kerry owes me two recaps in a row, so please tell me that Bob’s working on expanding the stupid/amusing “present and future models for monetizing the newspaper industry” theme song into an hour-long rock media critic opera.

The episode needs to be heard; while Bob’s story about online defamation seems somewhat alarmist, he’s at least good about having better reason for taking that position than does everyone who’s told me that they don’t want to join Twitter because they’re afraid of identity theft.

And I’m also still very much a fan of Brooke’s story about how security measures in technology can step in the way of freedom and innovation. As a (happy) iPhone user, I have found myself frustrated that Apple gets the final say in what applications get to my phone, thereby somewhat limiting its capabilities.

I can’t get myself to imagine a situation in which I’d enjoy it if they exerted the same type of control over my actual computer.

But the best thing about this last story is how Bob wraps up the episode.

Say what you will about Bob – he’s been great in Brooke’s absence. And it was nice to have Mike Pesca for a week. But he says it better than I could when he falls down on his knees at her doorstep, pleading for her to “please please please please” come back soon.

Brooke, take whatever time you need for your book; it’s going to be great, but we miss you.

We might not recap tonight, and this is why.

Kerry skates in two of the exhibiton mini-bouts today – beanpoles vs. dumptrucks (already happened; beanpoles won, with Kerry’s help) and in new girls vs. new girls.

My money’s on new girls to win that one.

I’ll try to do a proper post later tonight, but no promises. This will probably be another delayed-recap week. I heard a bit of “On the Media” in the car, and Bob is definitely baiting us a bit.

We’ve been trying to unpack, but the thing is, most of our boxes are packed tigher than an easy game of Tetris, and wait, what’s that you say?

The featured story on this week’s “On the Media” is about Tetris?

What a coincidence! I love Tetris! It’s a major contributor to the fact that college took me two tries. It’s also a major contributor that I once moved everything I ever owned in one trip in a minivan (with the seats in the car and up), and why I’m finding it difficult to unpack certain boxes. I’m really wishing that, in life as in Tetris, I could complete a line and have it vanish.

But I digress.

Bob Garfield gets to interview Alexey Pajitnov, the Russian programmer who invented Tetris.

Do I even really need to specify that he’s a Russian programmer? Pajitnov invented Tetris. That’s like calling Dostoyevski a Russian novelist or Tchaikovsky a Russian composer or Badenov a cartoon Russian spy. I mean, we know. It’s obvious.

I assumed for years that the Tchaikovsky-esque music that plays and plays and plays while the blocks fall from the sky were a) actually Tchaikovsky and b) the Soviet National Anthem.

It’s an awesomely geeky interview, and both Bob and Pajitnov geek 0ut about Pong – Bob mentions an embarassed love for Pong, and Pajitnov pats him on the back to say, Yes, my Western capitalist friend. Me too. Only in Soviet russia, Pong, it plays you.

Okay, so that was stupid. And it’s the last time I’ll do that. But the game sort of did play Pajitnov. Glasnost wasn’t glas-enough for the programmer, and in order to get Tetris published, he basically had to donate his rights to the game for ten years to friggin’ Elorg or whoever it was who wrote those painfully long legal warnings that showed when you turned on your Nintendo.

So even though Pajitnov did invent the most addictive game this side of Klondike Solitare, he’s not rich, even by the dirty chic mid-80′s Moscow middle class standards.

There’s no conclusion here, except that my hand, too, extends out to both Bob and Pajitnov. My name is Matthew Crawford-Trisler, and I, too, love Pong.

Now, all of that rambling is by way of glossing over pretty much the entire episode. There’s a story about Iran’s “elections”, one about the Boston Globe. There’s a particularly good repeat story. And the TV Digital Switch. Which I could care less about. I listen to the radio like normal kids watch TV.

Brooke was out this week, which means that the lovely Katya Rogers was left to edit the show. Bob sounded disappointed while announcing this. Which is sad. We know he’s way into Brooke and everything, but Katya’s cute. And amazingly sweet.

And crazy talented at the mixing boards.

We’ve been in their studio; I know. Their mics are nothing fancy. (I could use the model number off the Shure that Brooke uses, by the way.) Katya keeps ‘em (our hosts) sounding like they’re in the room with you. It’s impressive, and she deserves a few crushes headed her way.

Today’s OTM Recap was written by Matthew and edited in spirit, if not in body, by Kerry.

In Pajitnov’s words, “Yes, and thank you for having me at your show.”

OTM Recap: Out of my brain on the 5:15 from Radio Sweethearts on Vimeo.

In this post I mention the story about Wolfram Alpha. Here’s that link.

It’s not too often I’ll be doing this, as my current computer is way slower than Kerry’s, and lacks a built-in camera.

Have a good week.

This week’s “On the Media” begins with what’s been on our mind all week: swine flu and how ridiculous panic about it is.

Okay, so swine flu can kill people and it can be transmitted from human to human. I’m not seeing how that’s any different from any other flu, except that this is somewhat unseasonable.

All I know is that the flu may be bad, it may spread all over the world, and it may suck – hardcore – to catch it, but it’s the friggin’ flu. Granted, I live in Memphis.

During the yellow fever outbreaks Memphis suffered during the 1800s (there were so many that it’s really counterproductive to list every year they happened), they tried to quarantine the city, just like Mexico seems to be trying. It, uh, didn’t work.

Pretty much the whole city died.

That, my media mavens, moguls, and darlings, is cause for a panic. Not roughly 100 confirmed cases of a mild – if uncured – influenza.

Our friends at WNYC were kind enough to link to an L.A. Times article that totally understands that swine flu is not that bad after all.

The real story here is that the media is flipping the everloving hell out. Our friends at WNYC are cool enough to understand that.

Patrick Di Justo, while being interviewed by Bob Garfield, reminds us all of one other person who understands that – Walter Cronkite.

[For the record, Cronkite's enough of a hero of mine that there was a while there where I was taking his name in vain: stub my toe, shout "Walter H. Cronkite!"]

The fact of the matter is, as Brooke points out earlier, that media love panic. Panic gets ratings. I’m just rather pleased for the news networks that Swine flu erupted in time for May Sweeps.

I know news networks are struggling in this economy, so it’s good to know that they have a real pandemic panic to draw some ratings out of.

Man, it must be hard to be someone like CNN’s Rick Sanchez, not knowing where your next paycheck is going to come from, without the health insurance to get your back if you do catch the swine flu.

All of the panicked coverage I’ve heard of or seen has been on television – except for the bit when I flipped over to AM radio late at night the other night. Public radio and most newspapers I’ve seen are concerned, and cover it mostly because TV news is making such a big deal out of it, but they’re not in panic mode.

I wonder if anyone in public radio is even able to panic. In our brief visit to WNYC last week, it seemed as though everyone (especially OTM producer Katya Rogers), was pretty much unflappable.

This week’s rather disjointed recap was written by a very tired Matthew, and would have been edited… sigh… by Kerry, if she weren’t currently passed out in a food coma next to me.

"Teakettle" by The Spacebase on Flickr.

Brooke Gladstone opens up this week’s “On the Media” with the following lines:

You know, most weeks, we could say something about Fox News (like Bill O’Reilly’s show stalking critics with camera crews, for example), but usually we don’t. Partly because Fox News won’t talk to us, partly because – well – it gets boring.

But this week – there’s the biggest joke in the world. The anti-taxation rallies, dubbed ‘tea parties,’ held by ‘teabaggers’ to protest ‘Obama’s’ ‘tax hikes,’ and ‘reported’ on most heavily by Fox ‘News.’

Mercifully, Brooke has the decency and dignity to lay off the “Teabagging” jokes, which – though hilarious – I have too much dignity to repeat (in print). You can tell, by the inflections in her voice when she mentions “teabagging jokes,” that she probably wanted a rundown of the best. I do too.

But rather than stoop to the level of cable news pundits, she holds back, and passes the reins of reportage over to Bob Garfield.

Who doesn’t disappoint so much as underwhelm. The whole Teabagging thing is stupid. I was hoping he’d tear his douchebag interviewee a new one. The guy – Adam Brandon, press secretary for Freedom Works – helped organize the teabaggers.

Or that he has two first names. You can’t trust a guy with two first names. (I don’t count Bob Garfield here, because the only person I know of with ‘Garfield’ as a first name is a cartoon cat. Who is funnier when he’s not around.)

Nevermind that Bob gets the guy to to admit that, yeah, Fox News helped us out a lot, and we organized the protests while telling everyone that they’re total grassroots things.

Nevermind that the Brandon himself coins a term – and a pretty good one – for fake grassroots campaigns: “Astroturfing.”

Bob seems to go pretty easy on him, despite his pretty weak arguments.

But there are two great moments:

1. Bob mentions Fox broadcasting the news on “its” air – rather than “the” air. Which is pretty telling about how separate Fox News can be from the rest of the world.
2. At the end of the interview, Brandon reveals that he’ll be protesting in in Revolutionary War-era military uniform. With period shoes. That have neither right nor left feet. To which Bob comments: “No right or left, eh? Only on your shoes, my friend. Only on your shoes.”

There are other interesting stories too, including a couple about Twitter. You’d think, given that both Kerry and I work in social media, that we’d be jumping at the bit to talk about it. But that’s the problem. We work in social media. We recap on Sunday. The Lord’s day. I don’t want to talk about work on Sunday.

Saturday, I would have.

This week’s “On the Media” recap has been written by Matthew while Kerry went out roller skating and having a good time and whooping it up with everyone at the rollerskating rink like the ice princess she would be if the wheels were blades.

PSSSH.