People like to classify things. Conservative, liberal, girl, boy, good, bad, etc. If I remember freshman sociology correctly, when something is not easily classified, people will create parameters with which to classify. This behavior is extremely common with music.
There’s a listicle on Monitor Mix today by Lars Gotrich (which can’t possibly be his real name) about musical genres popular from 2000-2009. Some of them are logical – reggaeton, screamo, and grime make some sense.
But some of the others just don’t. Take crabcore. I’m totally convinced that Lars if-that-really-is-your-name Gotrich made this one up. This is a video used in the post that’s apparently a prime example of crabcore at its finest. (Warning: it’s also one of the single worst songs I’ve ever heard, mostly because it can’t commit to one genre.)
I mean, I guess that’s a crab-like stance they’ve all got going on, but the thing that stood out the most about Attack, Attack! was their crazy synchronized moves (the headbanging! the guitar lifting!).
Sadly, crabcore is the bright spot in the story. It seems to be half-researched, walking an awkward, unfunny line between seriousness and satire. If you’re going to do a genre dictionary, it needs to maybe be a series of posts featuring one genre at a time, not a half-assed list of ten genres (some of which aren’t really genres – “funky?” How exactly is “funky” a genre?).
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