Terry Gross accidentally made Tracy Morgan cry, but listening to it again, rather than being the funniest and most touching thing ever, it sounds like Morgan was being bullied. Gross seemed unfazed by his vulnerability, and poked at his frailness with something approaching a dumbstruck disbelief, until it cracked him.

Gross expected him to be as outrageous as his reputation (and his character on “30 Rock”). Instead, when he wanted to be vulnerable and talk about his painful childhood, she took that as a signal to keep asking him painful questions and then gasping in disbelief when he got choked up and began to cry.

At one point, it even sounds like she’s laughing at him for crying – which, even though I’m willing to believe Gross’ laughter was largely a manifestation of discomfort, sounds remarkably cruel.

Out of respect for Morgan, and out of distaste for Gross’ handling of the interview, I’m not going to link to that story. You know how to find it, anyway.

Instead, what I am going to link to is the greatest “Fresh Air” interview ever. So great, in fact, that I can’t actually link you to audio from the interview on NPR.org. Or a transcript. This is Terry Gross’ great lost interview.

So great that when the interviewee asks Terry Gross, “Don’t you love this interview? Tell me the truth,” she does tell the truth: “Well, I think it’s kind of a drag, because you’re making speeches, and being intentionally obnoxious.”

And then she erupts in nervous laughter as he continues hitting on her, insulting everyone and offering some tips to give NPR some serious style.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you – unearthed direct from the fiery vaults of Hell – all 26 harrowing minutes, 54 incendiary seconds of: Terry Gross of “Fresh Air” versus:

GENE

CHAIM EVER LOVING WITZ?! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?!

SIMMONS!

(Of rock band Kiss, as if you didn’t already know.)

Seriously, it’s amazing, and will explain this post’s title in more detail than you ever cared for.