Radio Sweethearts

Let the record state that October 30, 2009, is the day that the Cosby sweater began to unravel, stitch by stitch, slowly unveiling the post-apocalyptic, Charlton Hestonian dystopia that is: COMPUTERWORLD. At least in Bob Garfield’s head.

"Truck Vs Macbook Pro" by Jase n tonic

In the middle of an otherwise sane conversation about computer programs that construct news stories as search engine fodder, Bob – unprovoked – begins shouting nonsense.

This is the second time that I’ve ever pulled a clip out of a radio show for discussion here. I hope it’s the last time I need to do this with Bob:

“Take that, Computers! Only humans can write poetry!”

I want you to notice some things about this outburst:

1. Notice the slurred voice. Not so much in, “Take that, Computers!” but in “Only humans can write poetry!” Either Bob’s coffee is in need of a sniff-test, 0r he found an old Quaalude stash. Or his mind is slipping.

2. Notice that the interviewee, like a good radio guest, repeats what he was saying before he was interrupted – which means the crazy could have been edited out.

3. The crazy could have been edited out, and “On the Media,” as we have teased them before, is edited… by Brooke. Brooke left that in there for a reason.

Kerry and I conferred on the possible motivations for such actions: maybe there’s a bet as to who can sell the most books. Maybe Bob is really just going that crazy from having his love for Brooke go unrequited for so long.

Or maybe – and this is my preferred theory – Bob has just discovered that the government-issued rations, provided by the Soylent Corporation, are actually processed from the bodies of humans who have either become to aged to contribute to a starved society or who just have t0o difficult a time living so far below the poverty line. But now that he knows, he must, at all costs, risk his job with the police force to let the world know that it’s people! Soylent Green is people! You must tell them, oh the humanity!

That, or Brooke just wanted her intelligent, well thought out piece on Nabokov’s unfinished novel to sound even more reasoned and insightful than it would have otherwise. Which, holy crap, would sound reasoned and insightful anyway – she insists that a literary critic justify the fact that he considers Kafka to be an exception to an arbitrary rule.

By the way, I’ve always pronounced “Nabokov” “Nab-0-KAV,” whereas Brooke pronounces it “Na-BOK-off.” Who’s right? And who, other than the Nabokov family decides that?

This “On the Media” Highlights post was written by Matthew, for once in the presence of Kerry, who, while hearing Matthew edit the clip above, just sighed, “Thank God there’s an us, protecting public radio from itself.”