Radio Sweethearts

Erstwhile Pop Jesus Bob Dylan made a move I’ve been expecting him to make ever since he started producing himself under the name “Jack Frost.” He’s celebrating the birth of actual* Jesus with a record. It’s called “Christmas in the Heart.”

Pop Jesus.

And while “Ring Them Bells” has been showing up on my Christmas mix tapes for years (drop us a line if you’re interested in this year’s), I’ve not been – how to put this – anticipating this moment with anything approaching eagerness.

If the reviews quoted at the beginning of today’s “Fresh Air” review are to be believed, I’m not alone. Real gems include “It’s the worst album Dylan has released since 1970′s ‘Self Portrait,’” and “It’s a hoax.” My impression, based on what clips I’ve heard, is that it’s just a little ridiculous. But knowingly, if not deliberately, so. As is all Christmas music. But we’re not talking about the music here. We’re talking about the review.

Because this review, titled “Is Dylan’s Heart Really in This ‘Christmas?’” is also a little ridiculous.

Reviewer Ken Tucker does try to display a little bit of (slightly misguided) loyalty, dodging in front of bullets that Dylan’s already dealt with. He tries to tackle the frequent complaint about Dylan’s voice as though the man had never heard that before, and that to hear it at all would make the aging poet laureate of rock crumple to the ground in agony. Tucker steps between Dylan and that criticism by asking, “I’m sorry, have you not been listening to Dylan for the past decade – or for his entire career?”

Nice defense there, Tucker. That’s like saying, “One odd complaint about Ken Tucker is that he worships his heroes. I’m sorry – have you not been reading his reviews all along?”

I love Dylan, and don’t give a flip about his voice, but seriously? If someone asks me how I get past his voice, I just tell them that it’s not the point.

But I have to say, Tucker is right on in his assessment of Dylan’s version of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas:” it does, indeed, “sound more like a threat than a promise.” And that’s why I love it.

I hope that in the future, when listening to Ken Tucker’s music reviews, he remains this insightful and refrains from defending artists against irrelevant criticisms (instead opting for praising the idiosyncrasies that others denigrate).