Radio Sweethearts

I just want to point out that our 100th post is one of our “On The Media” recaps. It’s been a good run so far. We’ve teased Bob about Brooke, and now that he’s started to listen, the tables have turned. With post #100, it becomes clear that it’s Brooke who needs to come clean to Bob.

And you know… As much as I want to tease Bob about it, I really kinda have a crush on Brooke myself. She’s cute and brilliant - curly hair and glasses with a Peabody. I’m kind of into that. Brooke is like Minnie Driver in “Grosse Pointe Blank” or Janeane Garofalo at her quickest. She’s pretty awesome.

I’d show you this great picture of her I found on Flickr, but the photographer doesn’t use a Creative Commons license. I don’t have time to wait for permission. I can’t pay for permission either; I’m writing a public radio fanblog. This draws even less money than real public radio. Creative Commons is the way to roll, baby, and we share alike. So the photo you get is a fairly unflattering one from KUER 90.1, from the University of Utah.

As I was saying, Brooke Gladstone should change her name to “Total Crushworthiness.” Maybe. Her behavior in this week’s “On the Media” makes me want to change my mind.

I like to think that Bob and I aren’t really all that different. We both have fairly ridiculous beards. We take any chance we can to talk about the importance of the Fourth Amendment. We both tell pretty stupid jokes. More importantly, we both have it bad for smart girls with crazy hair and glasses.

So it would make sense that if I’m vaguely annoyed by girls who get extremely wrapped up in violent video games, Bob would be too (at least intentionally violent - Kerry has experienced first hand how Rock Band can go horribly wrong). And you can hear his disappointment in his voice.

We’ve come to expect more from Brooke - as have, I’m sure, the people who give out Peabody awards.

Somewhere in the middle of this week’s episode we find Brooke all strung out on “Grand Theft Auto 4.” Bob tries to get Brooke to talk about the game, to find that her preliminary research was delayed because, as she says:

What happened last night is I got stuck in a loop and I was just wandering the streets of the city and I got so lonely. The only way you can communicate with people is by punching them, and I just punched for two hours.”

You can hear Bob’s eyes rolling as he takes responsibility for the job that she was supposed to do, and introduces the story.

You know, Brooke, if you’re as lonely as you say, Bob’s there. And he kinda digs you. There’s no need for punching to communicate when you can just snuggle up and fall asleep in the arms of The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name. And I know Bob’s a good guy - you mentioned, in a “Gothamist” interview, something he said:

Once my co-host [Bob Garfield] and I were standing out here on the roof and I said, “God Bob, I love this city.” It wasn’t that long after 9-11 and he looked at me and said, “Brooke, I wish I loved anything as much as you love this city.”

I’ve said that exact thing to Kerry, about Memphis. I meant it. But I also meant that I’d move 500 miles away to be with her in a place she loves. Bob would probably do the same for you, Brooke.

No, wait. Bob would DEFINITELY do the same for you.Except that he doesn’t have to; you both live in New York.

Except that you take your loneliness out on people in “Grand Theft Auto.” I’ve played “GTA3,” and I know that the game is engrossing and oddly relaxing, and I’ve spent more than one all-nighter trying to figure out what I have to do in order to reach the next level. But you have to let it go.

You need to put the controller down and stop with the radio drama until the next time you call Fred Willard, Tony Shaloub, and (the aforementioned) Janeane Garofolo for the sequel to “Pledge This.” Or at least get another kid to deliver lines as deadpan and world-weary as Faye Schneider’s.

Also in this episode: stuff that is interesting, but that hasn’t remained as snark-worthy after repeated listens.

This week’s recap was written by Matthew and Edited by Kerry, who is still nursing a Rock Band-related bruise the size of a small tea saucer. So much for non-violent gaming.