Radio Sweethearts

Okay kids; it’s Friday. Which means you should get your beer in your hand and sit back. Take some weight off your feet, because it’s time for us to do the heavy snark lifiting for you, at least when it comes to “On the Media.”

I’ve listened to this week’s episode at least four times over the course of the week, and I’m still totally lost - which may be par for the course, honestly. I usually just mention a story and then digress for 400 words. I plan on staying mostly on topic today. So, on to our endearingly recursive coverage of the coverage of the coverage.

So the issue of the National Security Administration’s illegal wiretapping came up again this week, as Brooke Gladstone interviews New York Times reporter Eric Lichtblau about his new book, Bush’s Law: The Remaking of American Justice.

I tried to listen - I swear I did - but the more I hear about illegal wiretapping, the more dull anger wells up inside of me. It makes me wonder how many of my dad’s conversations with my sister were recorded while she was in Europe last summer. It makes me want to never call our Scottish friend, Thomas, on the off chance that the U.S. Government would keep record of our conversations about faith, consumer culture, and Twitter.

Next, Bob talks about Associated Press photographer Bilal Hussein is being held by the U.S. without being charged with anything specific. Many aspects of his case raise several ethical questions about reporting during wartime. Bob asks:

Reporters are supposed to be, above all else, neutral observers, but they’re also expected, under certain circumstances, to save human life at the expense of a story. Do you snap the picture or pull the wounded soldier to safety?

There are more questions asked, and I want to comment myself, but the purpose of this brief segment was to ask listeners for their input. So rather than saying any more, I’m going to ask you to listen for yourself, and then comment. Please, lend our boy a hand.

In introducing the next story, Bob quotes Republican presidential candidate John McCain as saying, “When you control the pipe, you should be able to get profit from your investment,” which does make me a little angry.

Yes, broadband companies should be able to make a profit, but let’s say your internet provider is owned by News Corp. News Corp. owns MySpace, and under the broadband policy insinuated by McCain’s quote, News Corp. may want to make MySpace’s biggest competitor, Facebook, load much more slowly - unless Facebook pays a ransom for access to its users.

Which would put a damper on all those Scrabulous games you have going, huh?

To explore this and related questions (why isn’t the U.S. leading the world in broadband technology anyway?), Bob speaks with Tim Wu, Columbia University law professor, and adviser to the Barack Obama campaign. The interview is illuminating, and it is encouraging that someone as wise and fair-minded as Wu is helping a candidate figure this stuff out.

Also encouraging is that Brewster Kahle, co-founder of the Internet Archive, just switched on some mega-fast broadband to a housing project in San Francisco - faster than the broadband available to San Francisco’s wealthier neighborhoods. Brooke takes this interview. This is so awesome that you just have to hear it.

But from here out, pretty much everything just falls apart.

Brooke channels Bob on a piece about private investigator Anthony Pellicano. Seriously, she’s dropping metaphors, similies, and clichés like just flipped the tassel on her mortarboard from the Bob Garfield School of Metaphor, Similie, and Cliché.

Oh, and that thing that I did right there, with the deliberate and unnecessary repetition? I blame Brooke, who says: “it’s a story straight out of Hollywood and, in fact, it’s a story – straight out of Hollywood.”

What’s happened to you, Brooke? Are you and Bob writing for each other now? Are you showing your affections for each other? I think maybe you are; Kerry agrees:

The recent shift between Brooke and Bob might simply be a big misunderstanding. Perhaps, in an effort to get her to see him as something more than a dad-joke-making, sweet-hearted Bob Vila look-alike, Bob stepped it up and vowed to impress Brooke with his big, sexy brains. Similarly, Brooke could be trying to tell Bob how she feels about him by showing that she’s a proud graduate of the BGSMSC.

And graduated at the top of her class.

Some things are still normal in this otherwise topsy-turvy world - Bob’s next story, is aptly summarized with the following:

Gene Weingarten, writer for the Washington Post Magazine, got an idea: he would lock himself in a room for 24 hours straight with 5 TV’s, 2 radios and a laptop all tuned to loud, opinionated pundits. After basically losing his mind, he tells us what he learned.

And the story is called “Pundimonium.”

I like that when I first saw it I read it “Pun-demonium.” I laughed, I wanted to pat Bob on the back, and shake my head disapprovingly as I backspaced over the too-clever title. I still do, but I’m just sad it’s not as recursive as “Pun-demonium.” Bob, I think I’ve just titled your biography. Nay, your Bob-ography! Huzzah!

Also in the show, “Playing One on TV,” in which correspondent John Solomon goes to pundit school. It’s neat. But it’s a repeat. I’ve heard it twelve times now (probably on three episodes, but sometimes you just have to listen again).

Hopefully they just ran out of time to record something new, because they couldn’t get Bob and Brooke to stop staring longingly at each other - which, as everyone knows, is the only true expression of The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name.

This week’s post was written by Matthew, and edited by Kerry, because the nature of their relationship is the love that does speak its name, and that name is “Science Friday.”