Radio Sweethearts

Attention public radio personalities: We are not like Andrea Campbell. We have crushes, but we respect the distance.

Might I refer you to the “Legal” section of our site? We’re making most of our stuff up.

This, however, is total truth. Check the Chicago Tribune: Garrison Keillor has a real-life stalker.

So that’s why he had such good advice about my old stalker. He used to have an advice column on Salon.com, called Mr. Blue. I wrote in. In the last installment, I’m the one billed as “Cramped.”

The man does have the voice of God, and God does get a lot of stalkers. It’s just too bad Keillor doesn’t tell the president what to do.